Thursday, September 13, 2012


I have just finished a workshop on writing.  I will publish on here some writing exercises that I have worked on.  I am open to any constructive critiques.  :-)

Here is the first one:

My feet ached so bad I couldn't wait to get home, remove my shoes, watch some T.V., and get something to eat. I had recently moved in with two women I worked with and didn't realize one of them was a hoarder until I shared an apartment with her. She also had a cat that she never took care of. After working a late night/early morning shift, I opened the door to the apartment, slipped my shoes off my feet and left them by the door.
As I stepped on to the carpet, I felt something warm and squishy under my sock, it also smelled like the city dump had decided to use our apartment for their new landfill. Once I flipped on the track lights in our common area, I gasped in absolute shock, her cat had relieved himself all over the carpet starting at the front door,continuing into our living area and ending at the bedroom door of our other room mate.
Throwing off my socks I threw them in the garbage. Walking into the kitchen to get some disinfectant and water I started screaming at my room mate, Meghan.
Meghan, get out here right now!”
What's wrong?”
What's wrong? Have you been keeping an eye on your cat?”
No, why?”
Well come out here and see what's wrong!” “Your goddamn cat just shit all over!”
Can you clean it up?”
Fuck no! I'm not cleaning it up!”
No! He's not my responsibility, he's your responsibility!”
Well, I'll clean it up in the morning.” “Just leave it there, everything will be fine.”
I don't know what part of this you want me to leave there.” “Rachel is going to have a nice gift waiting for her when she comes out of her room.”
Like I said, just leave it there!”
I don't mean to be mean but were you born with out one bone of decency in your body?” “I think you should call your parents and have them come pick up the cat anyway. You know, I feel bad for your cat. Is this how you are going to treat your children when you have them?Why aren't you out here yet?”
I don't want to see the anger on your face!”
Its not anger that you will see, its annoyance. Meghan, I have a serious question for you?”
If you can't take care of yourself, which you seem to have problems doing. How can you take care of an animal? I don't mean any disrespect toward you but we've dealt with a flea infestation, you don't clean the litter box, and you have not fed your cat in two weeks, at least. If I wanted to and I probably should, I should turn you into the proper authorities for animal abuse. Do you want me to do that?”
NO!” she screamed at me flinging herself into the living room with tears in her eyes. “No, please don't do that. I'll call my mother in the morning and make arrangements for her to pick up Foxy.”
I'm sorry that it had to come to this.”
That morning Meghan called her parents. They came to pick up Foxy the next day. As I let Foxy out of Meghan's room to come lay by the patio I had no idea that would be the last time he would lay in the sun.

and the second:

Michael did not want this point in his life to happen unexpectedly. He had known Gloria since childhood and had always thought she would be an excellent wife but when she went off to nursing school and he went to the police academy, he did not think he would see her again. Over the years, he often thought about her and what she would be doing or not doing with her life. He enjoyed the single life and the career that he had on the police force. They both began a torrid affair with each other despite Gloria's marriage to a physician and her claims that she loved her husband but he did not understand her wants and needs within their marriage. “I'm pregnant.” she said to Michael that afternoon. “Congratulations.” he replied. He knew he was no where ready for fatherhood and all that it entailed. “So aren't you excited?”she said. “Whatever “excited” means.” his voice showing signs of frustration as he walked out of her house intent on not looking back.
Michael gathered up his snacks and drinks that he was going to eat on the midnight shift and took them to the counter. Behind him, Gloria and her husband walked in. She walked through the aisles like she was lost and her husband stood in line behind Michael waiting to pay for the gas. She finally joined her husband in line. “Excuse me sir, but don't you work at the hospital on the security team?” her husband asked. “You seem familiar.” “Yes, I do.”Michael coolly stated. Gloria looked at Michael and then back at her husband. She looked like she was a prisoner being lined up to be executed. “Darling, this is Michael Issacson. Michael, this is my husband Dr. Eric Daniels.” “Pleasure to meet you sir. My wife tells me a lot about you.”
That will be five dollars.” the attendant said. Michael took the bill out of his wallet and proceeded to walk toward the door. Gloria looked at her husband and quickly told him that she had left something in the car that she needed to get. She caught up with Michael in the parking lot. “Hey! I didn't like the way we left things today and if you're the father I want us to be on speaking terms at least.” “What do you mean if I'm the father?” “It means I don't know who the father is. It could be you or him.” “For your sake, I hope its him.” Michael replied getting into the car. He never saw her again.  

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  1. Ok, so when are we going to get more??!!! I would love to have more from the first story...either leading up to it or what happens after. Good job!

  2. Paris-

    I liked them both. Your writing is very fluid.